GROW Model: Reality – Communication not Judgement
Explore the Reality stage of the GROW Model and how descriptive, non-judgemental communication builds awareness and supports change
When using the GROW Model, the Reality stage focuses on building awareness. Instead of analysing performance or drawing conclusions, it helps people clearly and accurately see their current situation.
The way we communicate during this stage is important. Judging limits awareness, while describing encourages it.
The Communication Envelope
This simple communication model indicates the range in which effective coaching conversations occur.
On one side of the envelope, communication is vague and judgmental. Words like good, bad, successful, or weak seem clear, but actually leave out important details. These judgments are just interpretations, not facts, and they often make people defensive or simply cause them to comply rather than reflect.
As communication shifts further into the envelope, the language becomes more specific and descriptive. Instead of using labels, we focus on observable facts—what was said, what was done, what happened, and when.
This change is subtle but important. Using descriptive language lets people explore reality without blaming anyone. It encourages awareness instead of arguments.
Judgement Reduces Awareness
When people feel judged, they stop focusing on learning and start protecting themselves. Their awareness shrinks, and they feel less responsible.
During the Reality stage, the coach should help the coachee gain clarity rather than judge them. By asking clear, neutral questions and avoiding personal opinions, the coach helps the coachee look at their situation honestly and take responsibility for it.
The less the coach labels or judges, the clearer and more accurate the picture of reality will be.
Reality as the Basis for Change
Lasting change relies on a clear understanding of reality. Without it, goals are less meaningful and options stay shallow.
When coaches keep their communication descriptive, they help ensure that Reality provides a strong foundation for the rest of the GROW process. This supports insight, responsibility, and effective action.
All Performance Consultants programs use the GROW model as well as other proprietary IP like the Performance Curve (TM). Our approach gives leaders and coaches practical tools to improve performance, build accountability, and create lasting change.
- GROW Essentials™ is a digital coaching skill course for frontline managers who want to build confidence and use coaching in daily work conversations.
- Transformational Leader™ is our flagship leadership development program for professionals who want to embed coaching in their leadership style, build and sustain a coaching-led culture, and achieve sustainable high performance.
- Coaching for Safety Performance™ and GROW Safety™ are our pioneering specialist programs for Health & Safety leaders and HROs.
- Looking to become a certified coach? Performance Coach (Certification) is a professional coaching qualification for both aspiring and experienced coaches who want depth, credibility, and real-world impact.
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